This story on Fentanyl begins when I was in Colorado earlier this summer. I was watching a television show on some cable that was supposed to be “Golden Girls” but this story on Fentanyl came on instead. I didn’t really know anything about Fentanyl but by the end of the program, I had learned a lot about it and the sad endings for some that use it.
The story is “real” only the names had been changed. Understand that this was a “re-enactment” of the real story. Tim was an only child in the family of Donna and Richard. There are many reasons why there is sometime only one child in a family—health problems, financial, etc. Donna was an only child in her family while Richard had many siblings.
Richard worked in a nearby factory doing on-line work. Sometimes this type of work can be stressful if quantity isn’t met. He worked from 7 a.m. to 3 p.m. with a short drive home. Donna did not work out of the home. She was friendly with a neighbor, Sally that had a boy (Sam) the same age of Tim and were third graders. They went to the same school together until something happened that put a stop to that.
Donna was always asking how Tim’s day went when he came home. What was wrong with that? One day Tim said another kid had (we were not told exactly what happened, if it was a physical or verbal problem) done this to him. Well, that did it for Donna. As soon as Richard came home, they made an appointment to meet with the school principal. At this time, Tim was wishing he had never mentioned what the problem was.
Richard had to call in for a late work pass as they had to go to school. Tim never went to school that day or ever again in that school. There were several other third grades he could have gone to in that school as well as other schools in that city, but Donna decided she would find a private school for him to attend. Richard said “nothing”. The school called for the next few days wondering if Tim was coming back and at last she told them, “No!”
I believe they lived in a large city where Tim could have gone to another school in the city, but Donna was bound and determined he was not going to go to another city school. (I think “city” school in that state would have been called “public” school like what we have in Iowa.) She found a private religious school. Now this could have been a problem as Donna was not religious. She made sure Tim had nothing to do with any church.
Arriving at this school, she was greeted very nicely. They needed money and this woman could be their answer. Admission was costly, but she didn’t care. Of course they asked about his religious background and she told them that Tim hadn’t decided anything about religion. (Tim’s friend, Sam had asked him several times to go with him and his family to church. He really wanted to go on Christmas Eve and learn more about this baby that was in a manger, but Donna wouldn’t hear of it.) Well, the school would change this if she wanted Tim to be enrolled. They tested him for school work and told her he was far ahead of them. (That wasn’t going to last for long.)
Richard said nothing about this enrollment. After all, she was the one that was going to have to drive him to and from this school. Of course, she would still ask him when he got in the car how his day went. By this time, Tim knew better than to say anything but, “okay”.
Everything seemed to be going along the first year until the day the neighbor lady, Sally asked Donna if she could watch Sam (the one that used to go to school with Tim) as they didn’t have school that day and she had an appointment. Yes, Donna would come over as soon as she left Tim off. Sally asked her if she would have a few minutes to check over Sam’s homework. Sure, she could do that. That was when she found out that Sam was far ahead of Tim in math. Something had to be done about this situation.
She let Richard know about this and again he said nothing. She let the school know that next year, Tim would not be coming back. (The school year was about over.) She was going to home school him and get him back to where he should be in his studies. Well, this went on for the time he would have been in the fourth grade and she found out it was too much for her. The state they were in really checked on those that kept their kids home. She was tired of all this checking up. She was going to find another school for him.
All along, if anything ever went wrong, she was always saying that they should move away—and it was never close by. That would mean he would never see Sam again. Tim was blaming himself for the way his mother was acting—never satisfied with anything. After she had taken him out of school the first time, he had started a “journal” of some kind where he wrote down how he felt. He made sure she never saw it.
Now he was in the fifth grade in the city where they lived. She had taken him to another district in that city. At least she wouldn’t have to drive as far. Things were not going well. He was behind in some of his subjects. All he wanted was to go back to the school where he had been before all this “changing” took place. He missed the kids as well as Sam. He never said anything but, “okay” when she asked him how school went that day. However, his journal said something else.
It seemed a little strange that she didn’t check with the school on how he was doing. But, he said everything was “okay” so why check? He went on to sixth grade and didn’t seem to fit in with any of the other kids. He didn’t go out for any sports as his grades were not that great. If a note was sent home with him dealing with his grades, he never delivered it. It would only have meant another move.
Middle school can be hard for anyone that age. Their bodies are changing and they are not little kids anymore but not teenagers yet. They are not only having physical problems but mental as well. They are the age where you are either accepted or not. And, if not—bullying can take place very easily.
Tim was not happy with where he was but didn’t want his mother to get upset. There were some boys that seemed to “like” him and soon they introduced him to what they had to offer. What they gave him seemed to make him feel better. Then they let him know that more of his would cost him. His journal said he had gone to his mother’s purse only once for money and knew he couldn’t do it again. When he told his friends he wanted no more, they let him know that was not going to be. They were going to tell his parents. What could he do? He was not quite fourteen years old and not happy but would be in a worse situation if they told his parents.
That night when his mother went to his bedroom to tell him “Good night”, was one she will never forget. She found him not responding to her “Good night!” She yelled for Richard and called for help. It was too late. He was gone. Investigators found his journal that told a sad story. If only his mother had never took him away from a place where he was happy. He even had a hard time spelling, “stability”. This is what he wanted from her—a stable place instead of her always moving him and threatening to move away. He blamed himself for telling her about the incident in the third grade. That is when all this started working against him.
She was beside herself as she watched Tim being taken out in a body bag. There was even more to this story as Fentanyl was found when they did the autopsy. Even one small pill can take a life. The boy she was so protective of, was gone. They would never celebrate his fourteenth birthday, the birthday she had promised him there would be a surprise for him. If only she had worked with the school when the first incident happened. She admitted she wanted to prove a point with the school but never expected this to happen. Would it have helped if she had found his journal? The only reason he hid it from her was that he was blaming himself for all that had happened. His father, Richard—why didn’t he say something? I wondered if for some reason he had done something in the past that Donna was holding over him.
This was a program that I couldn’t turn to another station even though it wasn’t the Golden Girls I had expected to see. Kids are even younger that 14 years old that just can’t take the situation they are in. In this case, it was Fentanyl that was made available for him to help take away the “pain” for a little while. In Tim’s case, it took the pain of being on Earth away—forever. Suicide is not something to take lightly. It is real and for the person contemplating it, it is their way to take away all the pain that they are experiencing. Mental health is real and is not going to go away by itself without some help.